One of the most damaging errors a man can make during his divorce is to voluntarily move out of the marital home. However, every day men facing divorce move out of their home, and every day men going through divorce quickly learn why it can be such a blunder. Once you vacate the marital home, it can be exceedingly difficult to get back in. One of the most common reasons men move out of the home is they feel it is their obligation to be the one to leave even if the divorce wasn’t their idea. The top reason not to leave the marital home “voluntarily” is that it gives your wife’s attorney the opportunity to label you as abandoning the family. Even if you feel you are being bullied into leaving by your wife, you have no obligation to leave the home if your name is on the lease or mortgage. Your wife may try to pressure you with various claims, such as, “It would be best for the kids not to see us fight” or even threaten to call the police. She may also try to bribe you with empty promises of all the parenting time you could possibly desire. However, there is no way to ensure she follows through with these assurances after she has achieved her goal of getting you to leave the house of your own will. Even if she goes to the length of filing for a protective order, having the court remove you from the home allow far more room to argue that despite all your efforts toward maintaining the family routine, you were forced to leave. By leaving the home voluntarily, you show the court that staying close to your kids for daily interactions is not that big of a deal to you. Even if you were the greatest dad in the world, it sends a contradictory message when you pack your own bags and leave. Presenting the court confirmation of your positive involvement and influence in your children’s lives is the best way to receive a reasonable custody decision. Freely moving out and only seeing your children occasionally do not foster credibility that keeping close to your children is your top priority. Moving out of the marital home establishes a new status quo that could potentially be transitioned into temporary court orders while the divorce is pending, and then end up in the final decree if the current arrangement appears to be working in the eyes of the court. You could be stuck paying far more in child support, but worst of all, receive far less time with your children than you truly deserve all because you foolishly left the marital home. How Moving Out Impacts Childless CouplesWhile moving out is tremendously detrimental when you have children, it can also negatively impact childless marriages as well. If you are the primary earner for the household and you decide to find your own apartment while the divorce is pending, there is a chance you could be required by the court to continue paying for your wife’s living expenses as well. Some states can authorize a “status quo order,” meaning if you had previously paid for the mortgage, bills, groceries, car payments, etc., during the marriage, then you will be obligated to continue while the divorce is proceeding. Not to mention if your spouse has a lower paying job, you may also be required to pay her temporary spousal support so she can afford the lifestyle to which she is accustomed. Not only can this be financially crippling while you are going through a divorce, but it sets up a standard the courts can use when it comes to the decree. If you could afford to support your wife like you had for the months or even years it took for the divorce to be finalized, there is no reason for the court to believe you cannot continue to do so after the divorce is over. Additionally, when you leave on short notice, most men do not think to grab copies of all their important financial records. With it being so difficult to get back into the home after you have voluntarily left, it can be nearly impossible to retrieve those documents and you never know what vital files may “disappear.” Even though most can be recovered through the process of discovery, it will drastically increase your attorney fees if your lawyer must spend the time hunting down documents that could have been readily available. The gut reaction for many people who are going through divorce is to leave the home they share with their soon-to-be ex immediately. While the temptation is obviously great and no matter how easy it is to justify convincing yourself that moving out will definitely cut down on conflict and should certainly make the divorce easier be sure to stop, think of the ramifications and consult your attorney before you make such a major decision. In certain situations, leaving the home can severely hurt your case. There are several important factors to consider before you pack up and move out, on both the financial side and dealing with custody if you have children. For most marriages, the marital home is the largest asset. As long as the home was purchased while the couple was married, it is generally considered part of the marital estate and the value should be split. This may make it feel safe to leave, since so long as your name is also on the deed and mortgage, you don’t risk losing out on your share of the value in the home. However, moving out prematurely can lead to other financial complications. If the primary earner (or whoever pays most of the utilities, mortgage and bills) for a household is the one moving out early, some states can institute a “status quo order.” This requires the party to continue paying the marital bills as they did before the divorce, which could lead the person to pay two sets of bills on the same income as they did for one. On top of legal fees, this can be a devastating financial blow that is completely avoidable if you just find a way to continue living in the marital home while the divorce is under way. Additionally, problems are compounded significantly when children get involved. When you are living in the same home, you have daily interactions with you children, but when you move away, you inherently have less time with the kids. It is imperative that you have an agreed upon, and preferably court ordered, placement schedule established prior to either party moving from the residence. Without an official schedule, you could wind up in a situation where the first person to daycare or school gets the kid which is a horrible position to put your kids. You are stooping down and playing dirty, but it becomes necessary just so you can see your kids. Lacking scheduled and evenly split time with children can also lead to expensive payments and issues gaining fair custody after the divorce. If the parties do not agree on a temporary parenting plan and one party moves out of the house, they risk being denied parenting time, which will end up being a costly battle. Additionally, they can frequently end up stuck with child support payments before the divorce is finalized because they have less overnight time with the kids. Additionally, problems are compounded significantly when children get involved. When you are living in the same home, you have daily interactions with you children, but when you move away, you inherently have less time with the kids. It is imperative that you have an agreed upon, and preferably court ordered, placement schedule established prior to either party moving from the residence. What You Should Expect From a Lawyer
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