Divorce triggers all kinds of emotional pain and unsettling feelings. It totally disrupts the life you knew and launches you into uncharted territory. Everything changes; your routines, your ability to trust another person, the loss of your self-esteem, and uncertainty about the future. Along with these changes, you may be blown away by how devastated you feel (even if you wanted the divorce). Allowing yourself to feel your emotions and move through the pain of your losses is what can help you let go of your old relationship and move on with your life. The great untold story of divorce is how much it hurts and not just the spouse who’s left behind but also even the spouse who’s doing the leaving. Many people who have gone through divorce remember that it feels like having a piece of yourself ripped away. People who haven’t been through divorce usually can’t understand how deep, how searing, and how debilitating the pain is. At some point in the past, sometimes the very recent past, you felt the sensual, ecstatic thrill of total trust and intimacy with this person. Now this same person is your adversary. You feel betrayed. Of course it’s going to hurt. Another reason it hurts so much is that most people who are going through divorce have to deal with so many losses all at the same time. You’re hurting for a broken relationship, of course. And often at the same time, you’re hurting because of that feeling of being betrayed by your spouse. Or maybe you feel betrayed by somebody in your spouse’s family. And often at the same time, you’re also hurting over the changes in your life. And there are so many changes connected with divorce. Sometimes you have to change where you live, how you spend your day, what you can afford to do, how much time you spend with your children and on what schedule, and how you can plan for the future, all while you’re trying to deal with a whole new world of lawyers, judges, pleadings, and court dates. And whether we like to admit it or not, there’s still a sense of shame connected with divorce. People who are going through divorce feel like failures. Coping With A Breakup Or Divorce• Recognize that it’s okay to have different feelings: It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused and these feelings can be intense. You may also feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the relationship was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening. Tips for grieving after a Divorce• Don’t fight your feelings: It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process. Reach out to others for support • Take a time out. Try not to make any major decisions in the first few months after a separation or divorce, such as starting a new job or moving to a new city. If you can, wait until you’re feeling less emotional so that you can make decisions with a clearer head. Utah Divorce LawyerWhen you need legal help with a Divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC for your free consultation (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.
Ascent Law LLC
8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506
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